05 June 2007

twas the night before d-day

Tomorrow is the funeral for what died a year ago.
I didn't just lose my husband (the part I'm GLAD I lost). I lost my dreams, my home, my things, my way of life, my friends.
Tomorrow's the day I finally say goodbye forever.

I'm raw today, through and through.

I wish people would put themselves in my shoes and really understand.

And I'm sick of being strong for everyone else, and I want to be able to fall apart. I think I've earned the right.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am sorry this is a hard time for you...there are people out there(friends) who still think of you ...and would love to see you again!

Chris Angelico said...

Go ahead. Fall apart. I've just been through similar things for the sake of one of my characters, and if you're forever being strong for somoene else, eventually there's nothing left but a shell - and you'll either lose the shell, or lose the rest of yourself and become a ball of misery surrounded by artificial strength.

Allow yourself to tear down that little shield, and allow someone else to come in and offer support. And afterwards, rebuild yourself with yourself, your family, your friends, and most of all, Him.