18 June 2008

The newest medical superheroes

Abbreviations are a big part of the medical field, so much so that there are experts in medical terminology, and classes and whatnot. Therefore, we have several tests on abbreviations in our class. This is OK. If you can memorize things well, you've got yourself a good test grade.

But what if, like me, you look at a group of letters and think of things entirely unrelated to medicine? You see "DM" and think "Dungeon Master" instead of Diabetes Mellitus. Or BS and think of "bullshit" instead of "bowel sounds". Or even worse, you try to make things seem medical but haven't a clue. So like my friend, you make NIDDM into the National Institute for Disease Discovery and Management instead of Non Insulin Dependant Diabetes.

Well, you get a group of people together and make up odd sayings and phrases to go with each abbreviation. Which can sometimes lead to hysterical laughter and/or shrieking. But did you ever think it would lead to superheroes?

The NLN is the National League of Nursing. If you say this, you must have someone humming heroic music in the background as you speak in your best announcer voice, "Meanwhile, back at the National League of Nursing Headquarters."

And then...then you strike your best superhero pose, with both hands on hips and declare, "It's APTT! Activate Partial Thromboplastin Time!" and pretend to swoosh away.

Sadly, neither of those were on the test this morning. But the NLN is ready and waiting for the next time abbreviations strike!

01 June 2008


In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. --George Orwell

It's been two years since I left The Bear, as of yesterday. I'm still unraveling the tangle of lies that apparently existed for my entire marriage. He didn't just lie to ME, you see. He lied to everyone ABOUT me.

His family and I are finally getting to know each other after 16 years. We're finally able to see each other for who we really are, without the filter of gossip and malice. I'm finding out things I never knew about myself, as are they! For example:

1. When I left The Bear, it was because I went crazy and was going to kill my kids ala Susan Smith or Andrea Yates. (This led my in-laws to call Social Services on me, something they are very sorry about now. Because good gracious, my friends always knew me as someone to call and say, "Man, am I frustrated today! I think I'm taking the kids to the playground for a change of scenery.")

2. While being a full-time, stay-at-home-mom to two or three children, I had plenty of time to have affairs and was always taking up with other men, which is why my two birth children aren't my husband's.

3. My son is not only NOT The Bear's, his father is Black.
(If you have ever seen my son, you will know why this particular rumor is HILARIOUS. He's one shade short of albino.)

These are some of the bigger lies but there were lots of tiny, everyday lies that made me into a different person than who I am. From what I can tell, he lied about the most insignificant of things to build up a whole picture of untruth. He did a really good job because you know what? His family -who I thought was nuts- is actually pretty darned OK.