22 September 2007

good vs evil

Today's kind of a good vs evil day.

Event-wise, it's the 9th anniversary of my girls' adoption. September 22, 1998, I walked into a courtroom and promised to be their mother forever. That's the good.

Sadly, September 22, 1998 and every September 22 from 1972 until now has been The Bear's birthday. I sit here stressing out with the ever-present busy life of a mother of four and I wonder what in the heck HE's doing tonight. That's the evil.

Then there's the usual battle of flesh vs spirit. The "I do the things I don't want to do but don't do the things I want to do" that Paul so well documented in Romans. Always good (God's spirit in me) versus evil (my sinful nature).

And then there's some funny stuff I've been thinking of. How some people just drag us down into their own dramas and misery and bad habits and whatnot, and then how some people lift us up closer to our Father. Lately I have felt so good, spending time (on the skype anyway) with people who lift us up.

We may venture out to church in the morning. We need to find a church. We will see.

20 September 2007

Skype rocks my socks

If you aren't familiar with Skype, you really need to be. It's VoIP like Vonage but it's messenger like AIM. It is great!

I haven't stopped smiling for two days now. Two nights ago, I managed to talk to my favorite person in the UK and my favorite person in Australia (see those links over there? <-----------------) at the same time. We did add in another guy from NC for part of the conversation but he was kinda quiet.

My UK friend and I could NOT STOP LAUGHING. For about five hours.

Yesterday we skyped again, Rosuav and his brother and I (and the NC guy again). Do you know how wonderful it is to just be? To laugh and sing and joke and just exist with no pressure?

Last night I marveled at technology as he skyped while traveling on the train in Melbourne. but it was bonus time! Two other Threshers were with him, people I've always wanted to hear. :) Sadly they could barely speak to me (except enough to say, "Wow, she sounds American") due to time constraints. I look forward to talking to them soon.

This morning was more Skype, more folks. I might be a Skype addict.

Except what it really is...is that I FINALLY get to talk to the family I've been a part of for eight years. :)

I have other things that make me smile. Funsize and I hung out last night watching tv (via phone, of course) for a coupla hours. It makes me happy. Also...

Morrissey is coming to Greenville, SC! wooooohooo!

17 September 2007

good news, everyone!

(title said in the style of Futurama's Professor Farnsworth)

It looks like I'm going to get my antidepressants back.

This is very good news indeed. As anyone who's interacted with me lately can attest.

Yay antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds.

and you give yourself away...

I've been wallowing about in depression lately. Life isn't fair, you know? Why does The Bear get to go out and have no obligations other than financial (And even that isn't much compared with the rest of his salary) when I have so much on my plate? It's pretty darn depressing and I don't think it's fair and I should be able to just lay around in my bed and never get up!

I've had a pretty good revelation just now. It's more a spiritual thing so I'll blog it on the other blog http://devouthypocrite.blogspot.com . But I'm off to school now so it'll have to happen later!

07 September 2007

Wish I was in Australia

Ever read the children's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day?

that has SO been my day today.

It just keeps getting worse.

I'm holding onto the hope that something pleasant will happen but I know it's just not gonna.