Part 3 of "It's all in your head" is posted before this one. I just felt like blogging twice today.
I've been -trying- to lose weight for the past year. I've been down a couple of sizes only to spring back up again. And I finally figured out that I am deliberately sabotaging myself. But why?
I am afraid to be trim and fit.
I know what I was like before. But imagine this exuberant personality I've discovered hiding within me all these years. Combined with good-shape me. Really kind of a scary proposition.
If I stay fat, then I can always say to myself that if someone doesn't like me, it's because I'm fat and they're shallow. But if I lose weight, then I have to accept that someone doesn't like ME. Period. It's not their issue, it's mine.
If I stay fat, I can retreat back inside this schlubby, dumpy shell and pretend like nothing ever changed. But if I lose weight, it's acknowledgment that things ARE changing.
If I stay fat, I face a future where I remain reactive instead of proactive. I choose a lifestyle where I will eventually be putting my health into someone else's hands - doctors, nurses, other medical professionals. I will be told how to live, given the equipment and schedule to do it. But if I lose weight, I must take responsibility for my own life and body.
If I stay fat, I will be miserable but at least I know it. If I lose weight, who knows what will happen?
I need to start living.
2 comments:
But what if you lose weight and people DO like you?
Have a spirit of adventure! You never know where God will lead you... you never know what may happen tomorrow. Adopt a philosophy of "Whatever happens, I'll enjoy it", and just ride out the waves! Life is exciting! Life is full of fun, just waiting to be found! And you're never alone, there's always someone to share joys and troubles with.
Take up a habit that's completely stupid, but enormously fun... like keeping a diary listing all the times you find coins on the road, or declaring a day when you'll always have one hand behind your back whenever you're walking. Do something for no reason other than to do it... and enjoy yourself while doing it. God never told us to go through life miserable!
Also, here's the thing. How many people know you now and both like and love you? A good number of folks! That will not change whether you lose weight or gain. So really, you're mostly concerned about the new people you will meet. And if they don't like you, so what?????????
You still have all of us who like and love you. So no matter what, it's you for the win. :)
Post a Comment