18 February 2007

rant: nickelback

Oddly, Nickelback keeps coming up in my conversations, which is somewhat impressive because I avoid them as much as possible. Thankfully, I have found that I am not the only one. A recent conversation while driving around had me chuckling. It went something like this.

me: they're playing blocks of music. If they play Nickelback, I will have to hurt someone.
notme: If they play Nickelback, I will have to hurt Nickelback.

I was talking with another friend last night and he seemed greatly offended that I didn't find Nickelback's If Everyone Cared a profound work, what with them giving to charity and stuff. First off, every musical act pales in comparison to U2's Bono and what he's done in Africa and elsewhere. Secondly, Nickelback's singer sounds like he's constipated. Thirdly, their lyrics sound like something a 12 year old would write. May I present lyrical proof of why their music, even this song, does nothing for me.

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

I can picture some middle schoolers working on a social studies project and writing these lyrics. And then there's this:

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Remind anyone else of a Coke commercial?

Actually, this Morrissey lyric reminds me of Nickelback. It's from The World Is Full of Crashing Bores.

What really lies
Beyond the constraints of my mind?
Could it be the sea
With fate mooning back at me?
No, it's just more lock-jawed pop-stars
Thicker than pig-shit
Nothing to convey
So scared to show intelligence
It might smear their lovely career

Yeah, THAT'S how much I can't stand Nickelback.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That lovely dovey nickeleback song was great.. when it was called Imagine by John Lennon.


Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace


Well, you can't blame Nickleback for sucking when people buy this crap and call in to radio stations and asked for it to be played.

Actually, yes you can. They didn't have to strive to be average. They didn't have to have trite lyrics and predictable 4/4 beats with no use of space or tempo or imagination.

Then again.. maybe they did.

Unknown said...

I am going to begin my comment by saying I do like Nickelback's music. Haven't spent much time listening to the lyrics, just find the music catchy and I enjoy it. I've read a little bit of history on the band and realize that they do not share alot of my values and so there is a good chance that I might not be a big fan of their lyrics. Maybe that's why I don't listen too closely. ;)

That said, I am going to defend them here. Bear with me.

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

One, I am going to make an argument that not all lyrics need to be extremely deep or have the ability to stand alone as poetry. Their lyrics here are simple, it's true. And they repeat sentiments in other songs that perhaps said it better, that's true too. Yet the message is the same and it's one that humankind as a whole still doesn't seem to get. So why not celebrate the fact that maybe folks who don't listen to Morrissey or John Lennon might listen to Nickelback and have their consciences tickled?

Since I started that last point with "one," it would stand to reason that I would have another point to make. Or several. But it seems I only had the one. :) Ah well. Time now to sit back and feel amused that I just defended Nickelback.

Anonymous said...

but by supporting nickleback, you are spreading the same mediocrity that they are spreading.

you should encourage people to reject it as a message that is all too common and heard over and over anyway so what is the point of hearing again with thoughtless music?

all the nickleback songs in the world won't make people want to stop killing.

less nickleback songs in the world will... because i would have less desire to kill nickleback.