If you should ever find yourself needing something from the government, I can offer the following tips:

-Always show up on time for your appointment. You will have to wait three hours regardless, but at least you won't wait three hours only to be told, "You were late. You'll have to reschedule your appointment."

-Be polite. Everyone else will be rude to you and act like you owe them something. However, yelling at government employees is exactly what they want and they will heave you out of the office if you do it. Be prepared for lots of opposition, because they will attempt to provoke you.

-Have all of your paperwork ready. You will have 20 more pages to fill out, in triplicate. Some of this can be eliminated by simply handing your things over and telling the person you can't read or write.

-Feign stupidity. Stupid people get pity. Smart people get attitude. So smart people should be smart enough to play stupid.