don't want to be a grownup!

Life is awful right now. Really bad. Probably the worst it's been since before leaving The Bear.

Tater is gone.

She was hospitalized for the seventh time last week and is now in therapeutic foster care.

I can't see her for 30 days. My heart breaks.

Additionally, Bean is having all sorts of issues that are very serious and I fear for my little girl. I pray that with Tater gone, we can have more time to deal with them.

Peanut has been extremely ill. I'm not sure what's wrong with him but we've made a few trips to the doc. He missed a week of school.

Punkin, thankfully, seems to be holding her own for now.

I'm failing school because I've had to miss so much -including midterms- to deal with all of this. I am now looking at dropping out and just being a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant/Aide). That isn't a bad plan, really. It's not where my heart is, but it's doable. At least it's better than being a waitress.

Anyway, I just feel like I'm falling apart with all the social services, school, mental health, medical, etc. obligations. And to top it off, I have pinkeye! in my one good eye! And no health insurance. :(

I wish there were someone to take care of me when I'm so tired from taking care of everyone else. But there just isn't.

Morrissey song of the week: That's How People Grow Up

I was driving my car
I crashed and broke my spine
So yes, there are things worse in life than
Never being someone's sweetie
...
As for me I'm ok
For now anyway