Why is death so difficult?

I know the title of the post probably prompts a few people to scoff, "DUH! Because death sucks!" in slightly better terms. I guess I should preface that I know death sucks, but I am one of those rare, weird people that wants to work for Hospice and deal with death regularly. I think that in itself is a calling and does not make me better or worse than you, just called to a specific area you are not.

That said, I've cried a lot over the past weekend because people in my church - people I don't even know other than faces - lost their 16 year old son this weekend. I've cried because that is what we do as humans and as Christians -- we grieve with those who grieve, and we try to bear one another's burdens. I cry because the pain of death is so great that it MUST be shared even if the mourners themselves are unaware of its spreading.

So WHY does death suck? If we are simply an evolutionary product, why wouldn't our coping mechanisms for a natural occurrence evolve so we wouldn't get sucked into a black hole when we lose someone? And coming at that from a non-evolutionary, spiritual perspective, why do we grieve so terribly when we have the hope that God is in control?

The answer, to me, is that death was never part of the original plan. Way back in Genesis, God created this beautiful garden and it had two trees in the middle, one of which was the Tree of Life and the other the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. God told Adam & Eve that they were free to eat of any tree except that second one. He mentioned ONLY that second one by name and told them to eat of the rest. Which means, of course, that they could eat freely from the Tree of Life.

I often wonder what that fruit was like. Was it sweet? Did it make you tingle when you tasted it? Did you get a burst of energy from it? Or did it taste sorta vitaminy, in a good way, like organic stuff from the natural foods store? Was it soft or crunchy? Did it have a rind like an orange or a peel like a pear?

Anyway, mankind screwed up and disobeyed and then an animal died so they could be covered with fur. The first non-plant-cycle death happened as a result of that sin, and we've been dealing with death ever since. And I think there's a trace of us that longs for our original, sinless, non-dying state. There's a part of us that knows we weren't supposed to lose one another or to be lost ourselves and that part is desperately longing for things to be righted. That part of us - the little tiny iota of us that retains our original being - knows the incredible wrongness of death to our very nature.

Those are just very random thoughts jumbled up. I know there's a lot more to the issue, but I think that's the heart of it.

What do you say?

What do you say when someone you know has been struck by the worst of tragedies?
What words are ever appropriate when no human should know the suffering of that person?

God knows, yes.

But no person should have to know.

You know in the book of Job, Job's friends came and sat with him for seven days and seven nights and never said anything.

I don't even think seven years would be long enough.

Pray for this family I (and some of you) know. They've lost a child in a horrible accident. And it WAS an accident.

Putting the Fun in Funeral

So I've had this weird sense of mortality lately. Not that I expect to die, but it wouldn't surprise me. That kind of thing. And I've been thinking a lot about my funeral. So here's my wishes:

First of all, anyone who attends is not allowed to wear black or navy blue unless it's something they'd wear anyway. My favorite colors lately are reds and purples. Wear those!

Secondly, make sure you have a decent potluck afterwards, OK? I loves me some Southern potlucks. I have a pet peeve about them, however, and that's there are never enough deviled eggs. Seriously, why on earth would you bring six deviled eggs to a potluck of 50+ people? So you people gotta bring some deviled eggs, some with paprika and some not. And banana pudding. And greenbean casserole, of course.

Lastly, I'm particular about music. I would like the following songs to be played. I don't care what order you put them in.

Chris Rice's Untitled Hymn
Few songs move me to tears but this is one of them and it does so because of its sheer simplicity. If you have the chance to hear it, please do so. The simple lyrics completely mesh with voice and acoustic guitar.

The Servant Song
(Note: please do NOT listen to the tune on this page. It is badly and slooowly played on an organ. If you have to hear the song...I dunno, find it elsewhere).
This song is somewhat of my anthem. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I will go out of my way to help people. Servants Heart School was actually the name of our homeschool, because I want to teach my children that helping others is the most Christlike thing we can do on this earth. But I give bonus points to anyone at my funeral who secretly sings "When you laugh, I'll laugh AT you" instead of "WITH you" in verse 4. Because that's what I do.

All My Tears by Emmylou Harris
I have NO idea what Emmylou's recording sounds like since I learned this in a very bluesy style from a friend at my old church. It is hands-down my favorite song to sing and I adore the lyrics. My sister and I sang it at our aunt's funeral, just two voices blending together with no accompaniment. That's how I want it. Not Emmylou's style but the one I know.

Lastly...and this one DOES have to be last:
Breakfast by the Newsboys
I figure about this time y'all will need a laugh. You can imagine me eating my Peanut Butter Crunch in Heaven as you leave.