the more things change

Over the past few months, I have had the chance to make things right with my friend, Rae. We hadn't REALLY been friends since 1993 or so, soon after I met my husband. Yet oddly it seems like no time passed. Here's sort of a stream-of-consciousness thing I was writing about my recent birthday visit with her.

*FLASH*
Rae and I are at her moms' house, jockeying for space in the bedroom mirror as we get ready to go out. It's about 10 o'clock or so and the really cool stuff isn't happening yet so we're listening to music blasting from the tape player in the bedroom, putting on perfume, trying on different outfits (I'm wearing a hideous pair of shoes), applying our minimalist makeup (cornstarch, purple or black eyeliner applied to lips AND eyes). We're discussing the various guys in our lives and how they suck or how they don't.

*FLASH*
Rae and I are at her house, jockeying for space in the bathroom mirror as we get ready to go out. It's about 9:30 or so and the really cool stuff isn't happening yet, so we're listening to CD music blasting out from the bedroom, putting on essential oils and other good scents, adjusting our outfits (I'm wearing a hideous shirt), applying our light makeup. We're discussing the various guys in our lives and how they suck or how they don't.

*FLASH*
Rae and I are on the dance floor amidst some zany crowd of people. I see all kinds here, even a few preps shuffling along the walls. Rae gets behind someone and mocks their dancing and I giggle. I do what my friend Lisa has dubbed "the flower dance" because I'm shy and don't know how to do anything else. I smoke a Marlboro Light and make a few snide comments about people I see in the club.

*FLASH*
Rae and I are on the dance floor amidst some zany crowd of people. I see all kinds here, even a few preps looking lost amidst the gyrating group. Rae nods towards someone and mocks their dancing and I giggle. I do "the flower dance" because I'm dancing on one broken foot and I can't move around that much. I smoke a clove cigarette (not addictive, trust me) and make a few snide comments about people I see in the bar.

*FLASH*
I wash my face and fall onto the mattress on the floor of Rae's room. The fan blows on me as I make a few hyper late-night comments, my voice hoarse from the smoking and the yelling over loud music. I doze off next to my best friend in the wee hours of the morning, no weird feelings about that. She's one of the few people I can sleep next to and not feel strange about!

*FLASH*
I wash my face and climb into the high bed in Rae's room. The fan blows on me as I cuddle up in the blanket and make a few hyper late-night comments, my voice hoarse from the smoking and the yelling over loud music. I doze off next to my best friend in the wee hours of the morning, no weird feelings about that still. Even in our 30s, there's nothing strange about falling asleep next to her.

*FLASH*
It's midafternoon and we're in my powder blue VW Rabbit (with pictures of rabbits on it and a logo that says, I kid you not, "Rabbit power!"). We stop at this intersection in an older part of town and we're listening to Depeche Mode 101 and laughing because our friend Eric loves to imitate the guy on this recording. "Thank you! All right!" we yell in our faux-British accents. We have to suffer through a lot of lame songs on this cassette just to get to a few good ones. Our favorite is "Master and Servant" because it's edgy and funny.

*FLASH*
It's midafternoon and we're in Rae's car (with no pictures or ridiculous logos of any kind). We stop at this intersection in an older part of town and we're listening to Depeche Mode 101 and laughing because our friend Eric loved to imitate the guy on this CD. "Thank you! All right!" we yell in our same faux-British accents, except we've got better technology so now we can forward through the songs we hate. We get to "Master and Servant" and I think we both realize how dumb it really is but we have fun singing it anyway.

*FLASH*
We've got 44 oz sodas from Circle K and we're looking at the free paper, trying to figure out what we're going to do tonight. Nothing looks promising.

*FLASH*
We've got coffee from Starbucks and we're looking at the free paper, trying to figure out what we're going to do tonight. Nothing looks promising.

*FLASH*
It's late August and Rae and I will be leaving for separate universities soon. We're both sad - neither one of us wants to be far from the other. I put on a chipper face as I drive away from her mom's, my second home. I see her in my rearview mirror, closing the front door. I don't want to grow up.

*FLASH*
It's mid January and Rae's leaving for Florida soon while I have to head back to North Carolina. We're both sad - neither one of us wants what lays ahead. I put on a chipper face as I drive away from her house, my home for the weekend. I see her through the passenger window, leaning against the post on the front porch. I wish we weren't grownups.